VANITY

This is the picture! This is the one that started it all! I have been organising photographs for the past weeks and when mi sister sent me this one I saw it! 2006-2011 is only 5 years! How can my body have changed so much? I used to wear a 6 or 8, 10 at the most! And now, I don’t even want to mention what size I am! So I started making decisions! I am going to color my hair again! And I am going to lose weight! Easier said than done! Right? The hair coloring is no problem, but the loosing weight?  Ha!

The reason I started coloring my hair in the first place was because my daughter Ruth was in beauty school and she got me into it. This is the truth! She would have no problem admitting to it, and I really did not want to start that young. But after I did it I had to kep it going. Then when I turned 50 and  got sick, and the doctors could not tell me what was wrong with me, I did my own investigating on-line and found out that women that color their hair for 10 years or more have 50% more incidences of bladder cancer, since my problems were bladder related I stopped coloring my hair, it was hard to see it growing out. It looked unkept to me. Then I got really sick and you know the rest of it. For a long time I did not care what I looked like. I would go out without makeup, I really gave up on myself. This was totally not me! I have always taken care of myself, never satisfied with the way I looked, very insecure really. People have always stared at me and it always made me feel like something was wrong with me. I have never been conceited, maybe aloof, but not conceited. I remember making myself a collage of classy women that do not color their hair  to encourage myself during that time.

So any way, one day last week I told Sammy: I think its over! What? he asked me. I said: You know, being young and pretty? No! he said being kind. You are still beautiful to me. Yes I said but look at me, I hate this weight. So I asked him if it would be okay with him if I colored my hair again. He said sure! anything you want. I was not asking permission but you see, Sammy used to color my hair himself, I did not know if he would be willing to do one more thing for me! So yesterday we went to Sally and Ruthy helped us to get all the stuff we needed. She agreed to do the job the first time because I have lots of hair. I was happy about it and so sure. Then we went to Wal-Mart to do our weekly shopping. People are always after Chacha wherever we go, she hates it. One lady I saw, (since I had hair color in my mind) was way younger than me, any way, she had colored her hair to look like mine, very unsuccessfully sorry to say :(  Then in the frozen aisle this women were coming by us and one said to the other pointing at me: LOOK AT HER HAIR! another time a lady stopped me and asked me: Who colors your hair? I thought to myself: Whats going on? Is God trying to tell me something? Then I put the thought aside. While Sammy went to the car after something I texted my sister in Dallas and told her I was going to start coloring my hair again. Immediately she asked me why and I said: Midlife crisis I guess! she said: Oh no! Then she told me to think about it really well, she is sorry she did it again even after her bout with colon cancer. So I called her later so we could talk about it. By this time I was really feeling my Father was telling me something. Later last night when we got home I called my sister and she told me her reasons, how beautiful she thinks my hair is just like it is, and the dangers involved in coloring for so long. She wants to stop but finds it hard to see “the grow out look”. After our conversation, I was convinced this was not for me. I am not saying that coloring your hair is sin or anything of the kind okay? So please do not go saying I said that. What I am saying is that after taking everything under consideration, I am not going to do it. It is a choice I am making, I am not letting myself go, it is a healthy choice, and I happen to be graying really nice. I also do not want to give Sammy more work to do ar more expense, it is a hassle to keep it up. I remember!

Now! THE OTHER THING! Loosing weight! Ugh! I eat little, but I have been pretty sedentary since all of this happen to me. And even since February when I broke my wrist I am scared of getting to confident in my activities, so I tend to sit at this computer sometimes all day long. Another thing is that some of my medications affect my weight. So what am I to do? IT IS VERY HARD TO COME TO GRIPS WITH GETTING OLD! FAT! I had been content so far, but I don’t like it one bit. So in this I have decided to do the best I can to get fit, carefully and maybe go to my doctor to get advise on the issue. Gaining weight is not healthy any way. I never over eat, I never snack, this is just the way I am, I don’t get second helpings, but I do like my desert after dinner. Ha! Somebody help meeeeeeeeee! Do I hear laughter going on? Does anybody identify with me? I don’t know maybe I was really lucky to have been trim till age 53! and no more? Well I am going to give it a good try! Not for vanity, Well maybe a little! Ha! TODAY I EXERCISED AND DID HOUSE WORK FOR 2 HRS. BEFORE SITTING TO THE COMPUTER!

I know this blog has not been very “spiritual” but I have learned that my Father is interested in everything about me, I think He really was talking to me through those people yesterday, and through my sister. I don’t know the future, He knows, I still have bladder problems I am under medication to help me with that so maybe God knows I should not put any more dangerous chemicals into my body. So like I told my sister, I am going to be sensitive to good counsel, and grow old gracefully! Awww!

One thing that is really in my mind more and more as time goes by is heaven. I don’t know how many of you have read the book “Heaven Is for Real” I loved it! I know in heaven we the children of God, His family, will all be young again and for ever, with bodies transformed, never sick again, imagine that! I was thinking of Metisha a young woman who just died of cancer. She is healthy now! This is all our hope, and is glorious, maybe this is why God lets us grow old, to get rid of our vanity and then He gives us new bodies in Glory and for ever. I LOVE THIS! BE ENCOURAGED!